I feel I should put it straight out there that I am not a huge fan of weddings. Let me explain. While the institution of marriage is wonderful and I firmly believe more people should make that commitment, I do not like the way in which the wedding ‘industry’ has taken over the ideas of fidelity and genuine love and replaced them with make-up trials, chair covers and expensive cars. There seems to be little concern for the actual wedding ceremony; it is more about the party afterwards. Interestingly the rise of the wedding industry and the amount of money spent is almost in direct correlation with the fall in the understanding of the nature of marriage and its purpose. Once upon a time a couple met, became engaged and soon after married in a simple but joy-filled ceremony and celebration. Today a couple meet, move in together to live as husband and wife and some years later decide to host a massive wedding celebration. Often the authentic joy that should be present at a wedding is disguised behind the grandeur of a show that is more akin to a Hollywood production than the sacred union of a man and a woman. I did not want my wedding day to be a day unlike any other in its excessiveness, but rather a day which felt like the start of a sacred journey and where my new wife and I could truly celebrate with all our loved ones in elegant simplicity.
So when it came time for Jane and I to sit down and consider our wedding I came to the process with some fairly concrete ideas of what I did not need including a team of professional camera and video people, a convoy of hired wedding cars, a cake that cost more than a widescreen television and a reception venue that felt like a wedding fairy land. My pre-Jane plan included a church, followed by a marquee in a field with a lamb spit-roast. However as I have learnt recently a wedding is the celebration of two people and for that reason I think I see why it can be an excellent part of the preparation process, because it requires discussion and compromise. Read the rest of this entry