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Sex: Action or Language?

You might recall Jane and I began our marriage preparation course back in August. Well I am pleased to announce that we have finally wrapped it up. Although we initially intended to complete the sessions over six consecutive weeks, there was so much material to absorb (and homework to be done) we thought it best to meet with our mentor couple every two to three weeks. The experience has been very valuable and if you are getting married I can heartily recommend the ‘Smart Loving’ Catholic marriage preparation course!

One of the sessions during the course dealt with the important topic of body language and the sexual union. All of us use body language hundreds of times every day; we cross our arms, shake hands, smile or hug. What we do with our body language is often more important than what we do verbally and for any married couple the most profound body language is that of the sexual union. Sex is sold today in culture, media and entertainment as something people ‘do’, but the risk is that when sex is primarily something we ‘do’, then we naturally begin to deal with it in the way we deal with other things we ‘do’. If we play basketball we want to do it well, or, if we play music then we want to do that well. If sex is just another activity that is done, a couple risk getting caught up in notions of sexual ‘performance’ and sexual ‘compatibility’; concepts that have never been as mainstream as they are today. Read the rest of this entry

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